🤸 Bland breakfast, active optimism, & growth > control

Hey — it’s Cristina & Jenni.

Each week, we share leadership reflections, resources, and laughs to help you excel in your role (+ have fun along the way).

As two tech leaders, we’re here to “lead in public” by sharing what we’re learning in our day-to-day roles, encouraging others to do the same, and learning and growing as leaders together.

Enjoy!

What we’re reflecting on this week

A couple weeks ago, my husband Tim and I were walking home after dinner when we noticed that a previously vacant storefront had been converted into a classy coffee place.

As a lover of cafes, I immediately declared that we should check it out that weekend for breakfast.

Fast forward to Saturday morning, and we’re walking through the automatic door into an inviting room featuring a marble countertop overflowing with pastries, the sounds and smells of fresh coffee, and modern but warm decor. We ordered and sat down at a table with cushioned benches.

Expectations were high.

Our food came out, and we couldn’t wait to dig in. It looked great. We both took a large bite… and then another. We caught each others’ eye and put down our forks and knives.

“Is your food bland?” I whispered across to him.

“Yes,” he whispered back.

We procured some salt and pepper and continued with our meal, enjoying our coffee and conversation.

As we got ready to leave, I told Tim I wanted to give them some feedback. We talk all the time about radical candor in the workplace, and I realized that this was the perfect moment to apply it in the wild. I wanted this new restaurant to succeed - why would I hold my tongue if my feedback could help them?

I flagged the waitress and said “Hey, just wanted to give you some feedback because I know the cafe just opened and I want you to succeed! Loved the coffee and oat milk, and then found both dishes to be quite bland. Okay with salt added, but maybe more seasoning and/or a sauce to round it out? I figure you’re still testing things out, so wanted to share sooner rather than later!” She was very receptive, and we had a nice exchange before I headed out.

Popularized by Kim Scott, radical candor is all about operating at the intersection of caring deeply and challenging directly. It’s key for creating psychological safety and helping others (and yourself!) succeed and grow.

There are many instances where we hold back because we don’t want to be negative or awkward or make someone feel bad. That said, by holding back, what we’re actually doing is robbing the other person (or company or cafe!) of the opportunity to hear those constructive thoughts and do with them what they will.

As Kim would put it, we sometimes find ourselves sinking into “ruinous empathy” by caring deeply but not challenging enough (or perhaps challenging too frequently and landing ourselves in “obnoxious aggression”).

These concepts are particularly important for leaders to internalize since our actions have an outsized impact on our team members’ work lives and perspectives. The practice of radical candor is not just a management strategy, but a commitment to a culture of transparency, respect, and growth.

When we embody and promote radical candor, we not only encourage our peers and team members to do the same, but we also build a better environment where our teams, our work, and our companies can thrive through challenging directly but kindly.

If you’re intrigued by radical candor and want to learn more, check out the first article in our reflections below.

—> As a leader, where can you lean in more to radical candor?

What we’re learning this week

• ✍️ Former Googler Lets Us In On The Surprising Secret To Being A Good Boss - While Kim Scott’s article on radical candor was written in 2015, the ideas are evergreen. If you enjoyed today’s reflections, check it out and bookmark for later reference.

• 🎙️ Tim Ferriss and Kevin Kelly | Excellent Advice for Living - This whole interview is full of golden nuggets on business and life. Amongst our favorite moments was their discussion on active optimism and how it helps us accomplish massive (sometimes seemingly impossible) undertakings.

• 💡 Strengthen your decision-making with Ray Dalio's life principle: "Weigh the second- and third-order consequences.” - More often than not, we opt for short term gratification when making decisions, and this leads to suboptimal long-term outcomes. This principle is a great reminder to operate with the mentality of an investor who’s in it for the long run by asking yourself daily: "What are the second and third order consequences?”

What we’re enjoying this week

This super short clip offers some great food for thought (+ pairs well with radical candor!).

That’s it for this week — thanks for reading.

See you next Thursday! 🤸‍♀️