🤸 Building Win-Win relationships, no lazy thinking, & sharing stories

Hey — it’s Cristina & Jenni.

This week, we’re diving into:

• how to improve workplace dynamics by building Win-Win relationships

• mastering rigorous thinking thanks to Wes Kao’s insights

• shifting our perspective through sharing stories

Enjoy!

What we’re reflecting on this week

Imagine you're finally free from a draining work relationship that's been holding you back for years.

That's exactly what Sarah, a former client, felt recently.

She stepped away from a negative contractor relationship, inspiring me to think about the importance of not just avoiding harmful work interactions, but actively creating positive, supportive ones.

Enter Win-Win relationships.

At work, it sometimes feels like we’re putting in more than we’re getting out. This can make us feel stressed and undervalued.

But what if we could change that? Imagine a workplace where everyone supports each other, and we all grow together. That's where Win-Win relationships come into play.

Today, I want us to explore how to build these relationships in three practical steps:

Step 1: Classify your work relationships

First, let's look at our current work interactions. Are they mutual and supportive or one-sided? Shane Parrish talks about four relationship dynamics that are important to understand:

1. Lose-Lose: Situations where conflict prevails, and nobody finds satisfaction.

2. Lose-Win: Scenarios where you're overextending, and others benefit at your expense.

3. Win-Lose: You might be on the winning side but at someone else’s cost.

4. Win-Win: The ideal state where mutual respect and collaboration lead to shared success.

The goal? To cultivate more Win-Win scenarios where it’s about what you can give, not what you can get. As Shane says:

This mirrors Jim Collins’s, a renowned leadership author, idea of a “trust wager.” It means starting relationships with trust, creating a space where trust and respect grow both ways, setting the stage for positive long-term relationships.

Step 2: Understand your interaction style

Are you a Giver, a Taker, or a Matcher? In his book “Givers and Takers,” Adam Grant tells us we all have our style in how we handle work relationships:

1. Givers: Contribute to others without expecting anything in return.

2. Takers: Always looking to get more from others.

3. Matchers: Want to keep things balanced between giving and taking.

While Givers might seem like they lose out, they often do better in the long run thanks to better networks, innovation and more collaboration. The trick is to give smartly, without being exploited.

Reflect on your natural approach: are you a Giver in some situations, a Matcher in others? The aim is not to change who you are but to recognize the power of giving in building long-term success.

Step 3: Build those Win-Win Relationships

Building successful, lasting work relationships is an ongoing effort. Here’s a simple guide to help you along the way:

1. Examine Your Current Relationship Dynamics: Are they balanced? Aim for more of those Win-Win scenarios.

2. Understand Your Style: Think about your tendency to give, take, or match, and aim to contribute positively without immediate expectations.

3. Lead with the Trust Wager: Start new relationships with an opening bid of trust. This positive approach is more likely to foster a reciprocal dynamic, leading to more open and constructive interactions.

4. Practice Active Listening: Next time someone’s talking to you, really listen. When people feel heard and understood, they are more inclined to reciprocate, strengthening the relationship.

5. Foster Honesty and Empathy: Be honest in your communications and empathetic towards others' perspectives. This nurtures a deeper understanding and respect, crucial for Win-Win relationships.

6. Regularly Reflect and Adjust: Keep thinking about how you can improve your relationships at work. Identify when changes are needed and be open to evolving your strategies.

Each of these steps will help us build a workplace where trust grows, everyone feels valued and supported, and like they’re part of a winning team.

→ Reflect on your current relationships. Which elements of this framework could improve them? How can you start adopting these principles to build more win-win relationships at work?

What we’re learning this week

• ✍️ Newsletter: Wes Kao on how to build culture of good decision-making and thoughtful debate - Wes offers a tangible solution for how leaders can get their teams to think like owners and bring thoughtful ideas to the table through rigorous thinking. She tackles it in three parts: 1) What is rigorous thinking and why it matters, 2) How to create a culture of rigorous thinking, and 3) Questions to promote rigorous thinking.

• 🎙️ Podcast: Jim Collins and Shane Parrish discuss the “trust wager” - Renowned researcher and author Jim Collins shares why we should trust by default, the difference between transactions and relationships, and how we can build our uncertainty muscle to live with ambiguity.

• 📝 Article: Shane Parrish on Newton’s Law in Relationships - Shane uses Newton's third law to explain relationship dynamics, emphasizing the impact of positive, proactive actions without expecting immediate returns.

What we’re enjoying this week

A classic Liz Fosslien image to reinforce this week’s reflections on how to build stronger relationships.

That’s it for this week — thanks for reading.

See you next Thursday! 🤸‍♀️