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🤸 Leading consciously, 20 truths from a CEO coach & average vs. great managers

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Cristina & Jenni
August 03, 2023

Hey — it’s Cristina & Jenni.

Each week, we share leadership reflections, resources, and laughs to help you excel in your role (+ have fun along the way).

This week we have some exciting news to share: we’re running a virtual workshop 🎉

On Wednesday, 16th of August at 12 pm EST/5 pm BST, we will walk you through 4 essential items that’ll help you keep your team aligned and firing on all cylinders (including templates because we love tangible things that can be put to use!). You can register here - can’t wait to see you there!

P.S. Feel free to share the event with anyone that you think may benefit from creating a more positive, structured environment for their team 💪

Now, let’s dive into this week’s newsletter ✨

What we’re reflecting on this week

Last weekend, I caught up with a close friend, a founder of an early-stage startup. He shared some challenges he’s facing and one, in particular, caught my attention:

He‘s uncertain about how his team perceives his leadership and overall culture, triggered by unexpected feedback he received.

While he had a very thoughtful response about the situation, I also noticed he expressed some feelings of defensiveness… which is a completely natural reaction.

And while it's easy to let our egos debate the accuracy of feedback and brush things off - the true test lies in our response to it.

Ignoring or downplaying such insights can turn seemingly minor issues into significant challenges in the future - like your best people silently quitting.

Haven’t we all experienced situations like these where you’re caught off guard and left wondering why things took an unexpected turn?

Such experiences are important parts of our conscious leadership growth journey.

Yet - if we regularly avoid these moments, or are oblivious to them even happening despite our best intentions - things can start to fall apart quickly, often leading to irreparable breakdowns in communication and trust.

On the flip side, as we get better at understanding what is going on in and around us, we are able to strengthen relationships and cultivate trust.

Trust isn’t built overnight but in the consistent, tiny things we do daily.

And as leaders, we have to lead by example, every single day.

So, how can we deepen our awareness (of both self and others) and build (or re-build) trust with our teams and peers?

Here’s a two-step blueprint:

Step 1: Assess when you’re not leading consciously and find ways to increase your awareness.

Step 2: Use Brené Brown’s B.R.A.V.I.N.G Trust framework, which breaks down trust into 7 elements, to measure and strengthen trust in your team.

Now, let’s dig into each step:

Step 1: A binary model of Conscious leadership

So, what exactly is conscious leadership?

According to the authors of “The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership”, the first mark of conscious leaders is self-awareness and the ability to tell ourselves the truth. They believe that conscious leadership is binary - you either lead consciously or you don’t.

Picture a line:

Being aware of where you stand - especially when you're below the line - is important. 

Conscious leaders are able to regularly interrupt our natural tendency to react. They take a moment to pause, breathe, and ask themselves:

“Where am I right now - above or below the line?”

One of the most powerful ways to deepen our awareness and show up above the line is to reflect daily. When we build this reflection practice, we start to:

  • Experience situations more objectively: how they’re unfolding, how we and others are speaking and showing up, and what may or may not be triggering us.

  • Understand how we see ourselves and, just as importantly, how others see us.

  • Recognize the beliefs driving our behavior.

  • Seek feedback to reveal our blind spots and uncover where we need to do more work.

  • Recognize leadership as a journey, not a destination.

Step 2: Brené Brown’s B.R.A.V.I.N.G Trust Framework

This isn’t just a framework to better understand what trust consists of. It’s a practical tool to measure trust in your team or with peers, designed to facilitate conversations that matter.

Brené recommends using it as a conversational guide for 1:1 chats, where each person fills it out and then meets to listen and discuss where experiences align and differ.

Here’s a template to get started:

B — Boundaries: Am I respecting my own & others' boundaries? Am I clear about what’s okay and what’s not okay?

R — Reliability: Am I reliable? Do I do what I say I am going to do?

A — Accountability: Do I hold myself accountable?

V — Vault: Do I respect the vault and share accordingly?

I — Integrity: Am I acting from my integrity/authentically?

N — Nonjudgement: Am I asking for what I need? Am I voicing and understanding them without judgment?

G — Generosity: Am I generous towards myself and others?

Ever since I had this chat with my friend, I’ve started to think more about the importance of leading consciously - with an open heart, with curiosity, vulnerability, and empathy, every step of the way.

It’s a journey that requires us to continuously deepen our awareness and grow our capacity for understanding and respect.

By actively seeking feedback (we’ll touch on this in our upcoming workshop!), being honest about where we stand, and using tools like the B.R.A.V.I.N.G Trust framework, we're laying down stepping stones towards trust and building stronger bonds with our teams.

→ What does leading consciously look like for you? What is one action you can take today to lay a stone and build stronger bonds with your team?

What we’re learning this week
What we’re enjoying this week

Some fun sketches of what an average vs. a great manager looks like from Julie Zhuo:

From this:

To this:

That’s it for this week — thanks for reading.

See you next Thursday! 🤸‍♀️

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